Context: My Love towards the LOVE urges me to sketch another complete drama, in which every role ( including me ) is a fictional one. Hope you all like (it). I, always, strongly believe (that) my readers and their interest towards my writings is only my valentine/ love that I have. Thank you all!!!
I am exhausted due to the celebration of the sister’s wedding anniversary. I slept for almost 11 hours this day. The function was done happily, everybody left, now the whole room looks void. Slowly, I’m rearranging everything in proper order. Really, after these type of functions, knowing which object is placed at what place is really hard. I cleaned the room, opened the Almora, a letter drops suddenly.
It’s the letter which gave me a new life, a new love, a new me, and plenty of happiness, an unlimited treasure of joy, infinite peace.
It’s the first letter, she( Kavya)gave me, made me not to write any letter to others forever in my life.
Iunfold the letter slowly.
( Some years ago, on 14th feb, letter given by Her)
My dear!, I’m very clear.
I saw you more than I saw my self.
These beautiful flowers, lovely stars, unending sky, dark moon, nice paintings made me feel nothing until my eyes grab your attention.
When I saw you for the first time, a “New” me is created in Me.
I stopped living, and started loving!
Loving in such a way that I’m born to love.
I sleep in your dreams, and my dreams all together turn into an existence called “You!”
You think “ I saw you”. But, the reality is “ I saw me in you” and “You in me”.
I bet, I would be another Einstein if think about physics like I think about you.
In general, after making love, WE born. But, I born to make love.
It’s been 14 months I’m waiting for this 14th date, to express my inner self to the upcoming my inner self( You) .
I know I love you and I also know You love me.
I do not say,
“ I can not Live if you do not love me”, but,
“I do not leave you till you love me.”
“Every one, on this globe, dreams for his perfect partner,
Who loves Her so much, who cares her, who dares anything to do for her
Who wishes her every day, who kisses her every night
Who laughs at her funny jokes, who make her smile every moment
With whom one imagines her complete life happy.”
I think, dear,
For me, That perfect one is none other than YOU!
I have so much love on you, dear!
I thought of telling this 100 times, but I could not.
I love you,
I live in your dreams, and I dream in your love.
Wake me up from your heart by letting your heart open for me, dear!
I’m asking, with out any shy, Will you be my valentine, dear ?
I said a big Yes!
But, not with the words.
On my chest, lies her forehead
On her forehead, lies my lips
Arms are busy with warming each other.
I feel like, I’m born to receive her love, her life.
Days went on well, might be due to we were in love, I thought.
During love, I thought,
“Life is nothing but loving and living in that loving”.
But, after some time only, I came to know the other side of Life.
Both of us completed our degrees. Her parents were urging her to marry her brother-in-law, who works in a reputed software company with 6 digit figure salary. Daily she was telling this same thing, forcing me to meet her dad with an offer letter.
But, what can I do? Is offer letter a love letter or what ? I have to search for a job, got cleared all the sections, and the final interview process. So far, I was denied twice in the final round. I too wanted to protect my life( my love).
All of a sudden, Misery hit our door. Mam was hospitalized and was told to be in the final stage of Cancer after undergone through a week of tests, surgeries and x-rays. We were out of money. Though we could arrange money by lending some where, doctors did not assure anything.
I, then, was, dumb, mentally void. It’s Kavya only made me console daily.
I do not know why Misery loves Misery only. Distress surrounded us. Unluck favored us. Poverty swallowed us. The only treasure of my home, my dad, hit with an accident. Oh! God! What wrong did I do?
Then, the whole responsibility was shifted onto my shoulders. I tasted the real odor of Life.
Mom’s health is getting worse. People ate my brain to clear their loan. Sister needs to get married.
Oh! God! Are you the same God whom I thank very much when She proposed me ?
It’s okay if GOD is the same all the time, but we, the humans must change with time to run the family.
All of sudden, I got a call from kavya, saying that she no longer wanted to stay at her home since arrangements for her marriage started.
“I want to come with you, and we will marry,
Take me with You , dear!”, She said.
After thinking for several thousand minutes, I asked her to come to the place we usually come.
I never thought that a day like this comes to my life,
Previously, I said , I am living in your love,
But, even now if I say the same thing, I’m fooling you!
See! It takes at least 4 to 5 years for me to marry you.
I have to look at mom’s health, getting the sister be married, clear all the loans. All these things depend only on my job.
My life, which I said previously that it totally filled with you and your love, now broken into pieces, and each piece is asked to clear a duty.
I’m not saying I’m not loving you. I loved you, I am loving you and I will love you. But, Life is beyond expectations, dear!
You can be happy if you are with me, but not secure.
At present, I can not feed my belly, how can I feed yours?
We are made to love, but not to marry, dear!
Forgive me, forget me ( though not possible)!
I want you to be at least made a good life,
I swear, if you are with me, both of our lives got worse and I know how it feels if one of the family leaves from home. So, under these chaos of life, go with dad’s proposal, marry your brother-in-law.
Heart pained me to leave its another part. But, it had to.
The next day, I went for an interview, got cleared all the levels, only the final PI is left. It’s in the evening. Suddenly, the phone rang, heard the sister’s weeping words that “Mom is no more”.
If I leave, job is no more. I can not stay since mom is no more.
That time, I really, cursed the GOD for creating me. I cried, cried, wept, and left the place immediately.
Mom is not with the me, so the Job, And so my love( kavya) .
Do I really live this life? Is this really a life?
Once I thought Life is nothing but loving and living in the loving.
But, now, I came to know that,
Life is (making) living for the beloved ones and being responsible for the family.
“I have to live for my sister at least”, I thought.
It was tough time. But, Life had to go on. I kept on searching job trials. At last, got selected.
But, one thing, I learn, I do not pity even if I’m not selected because there were no tears left in me to come out.
One thing Life learnt me that
“Life has to go on though the people we love are in it or not”.
With time, every thing went well, all debts were cleared and the sister got married.
I slowly fold the letter and place it at its place only, and made myself stand slowly, move my legs, and drive the car towards the beach.
Beneath me, sand stands
Water comes, touches and goes like problems in the life,
Slowly, I pick some sand in my hand and close it, slowly kissed it, and let the grains of sand drop slowly from the gaps in between my fingers.
Now the hand is empty like me.
I just closed my eyes, and thought all about my love on this valentine day, and slowly opened my eyes, and moved the left arm to clean the water dropping from the eyes.
One thing I can say, People we love may leave us but not their memories( Love).
I’m sad not because you left me
but not to take your love along with you (from me).